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Turning a negative into a positive

It's been a while. But I'm not sorry. I've been dealing with some things. My husband and I have been back and forth to doctors trying to figure out if kids are going to be in our future. Sometimes things don't work out like you want them to. But I'm going to be positive about this. When we were told that having some little ones would be more of a financial risk than we could handle due to surgical costs and IVF, we decided that maybe we should take this as a sign and try a new route.

We are in the early process of coming to terms with not adding anymore children to our family. We will be focusing on our daughter for the next 4 years until she is out of the house and then we will be planning our life together. The thought of not having children isn't as daunting as I first thought. We can do anything now! Trips, travel and more time to ourselves. We've both been raising kids since we were 18. My husband's been raising kids his whole life basically.

And I've come to realize that not having any children of my own is okay with me. I chose to be with my husband. So it does make me feel a little more like 'I' made the decision. Nature played a big part, but ultimately, we have decided not to go ahead and try any longer. It's not giving up though! We have just decided to spend our lives together.

 I'm already a mother to a beautiful young lady, my daughter Nora. And we would have to basically win the lottery to be able to add some little ones into the mix and still be financially secure. I know I don't want that and neither does my husband. I want to see the world, travel and let loose.

So I'm okay with that for now.

Plus, I see Beautiful things I see in our future:
Germany...
Music festivals,
Bumbershoot...
Longer Vacations,
shoes for me (might be a little materialistic, but I love shoes)
A fantastic sex life
and
happiness.

This isn't a pity post. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just telling it how it is in our situation and how I'm coming to terms with it all. Making it about 'my' choice is important. I will no longer stress about what could have been, I will celebrate in what IS.
Tomorrow is our One Year Wedding Anniversary! We're starting it off today with a fun hotel stay (one of my hotels), great drinks, entertainment and some other things I can't wait to share! We also binge-watched Hemlock Grove Season 2 last night, and.... I got my dreams forever crushed. But we'll save that for later too.

I'll be back soon, but I'll be making sure to share pictures all weekend long on Instagram if you want to see what we've been up to.

Toodles! I love you all!